Sometime in the middle of February I’d received a letter from Scott.
From: Scott Claus [mailto:sclaus@animo43.anim.xxx.com]
Sent:
To: MichaelS@xxx.com
Subject: You Ready for this one?
Hello-
Sorry I couldn't talk t' other day.
No big stories, everything went quite
well and a splendid time was had by all. Some funny stories concerning
international confrontations
… but I'm mainly writing to ask if you'd like
to know about Tiina getting married.
Mom sent me a blurb from the Sun. If you'd like
to know the details I'll
send 'em to you this aft., or if you'd rather I can just send the article
via snail mail or tell me and I'll
set the article on fire FOR you.
At any rate I think you'll want to hear the details, but maybe not from me
(don't shoot ME, I'm just
the messenger!) … Later-
This set me numb. Tiina was an exchange student in high school, and my first girlfriend. When Tiina was coming back for her ten year high school reunion, I naturally heard about it and we picked up where we left off. Of course, it didn't work out and I pulled the plug on it. But never being one to leave well enough alone, of course I had to
have the gory details, so Scott sent them to me with the particulars. The connection was that Tiina’s former American host mother’s
mother-in-law wrote a column for the local newspaper, if you can follow that. Tiina made it into the local news this way. Scott's
mom passed the word along.
From: Scott Claus [mailto:sclaus@animo48.anim.xxx.com]
Sent:
To: MichaelS@xxx.com
Subject: Pigs are flying and hell has an ice rink...
So spaketh Elsa (Simonson) in the 2/16 Sun:
"Tiina, who was an exchange student
from Finland, who graduated
from Sheridan High School in 1984, got married on Saturday, to Scott Alper
of Hartford, Conn.
"The
small family ceremony was held in nearby
Silversmith's, an old silver factory which has been converted into a
restaurant. A dinner followed the wedding ceremony.
"Among the wedding guests were Scott's parents; Tiina's cousin and spouse
from
Ariz., who was a classmate in high school … John and Rosemary
(sorry) Simonson of
Pendleton, who were Tiina's host parents in
"Tiina's parents from
through the marvels of modern communication, they were able to view and hear
the proceedings at their
"The
young couple have a home in
company, of which Scott is the co-owner."
It was an odd
sensation. I felt a sense of relief in a way, in that finally there was no more looking back, although there never really was since
I ended it permanently. Yet I was surprised to sense a little bit of a loss. Up until that point, Tiina had been the only
person I’d asked to marry me. Our relationship was damned to fail, but I convinced myself that there was a jewel buried
deep inside her. Of course, I was kidding myself, but I had an amazing ability to blind myself to this.
As I explained
to Scott much later, my relationship with Tiina gave me a new appreciation for abusive relationships. Despite that warm golden
glow inside of her, Tiina was very bitter and negative. For a long time I could never completely myself of the reality
of those two parts of her were inseparable, which I suppose is what made the relationship possible. I ignored a lot of red flags
thinking that if I was just myself, it would be eventually be good enough to let the gem in her surface. With hindsight it’s
easy to see now how ridiculous it is to expect someone to change.
Nevertheless the news washed over me. There are no words
to describe the feeling I had, except that I felt pretty odd about it all. After sulking around I realized I needed to do something,
so I arranged with my Finnish friend Lotta to come and visit
