(after several pages of Li'l Abner background...)

But the real coup - the thing that tore the roof off the dump - was the casting of Stupefyin' Jones.

Before I tell you who they got, let me remind you taht this was the character whose looks stunned men into a stock-still stupor, played originally by the lovely, leggy Julie Newmar. She had not one word of dalogue, but she darn near stole both play and film. One cinema society named it the sexiest appearance ever in a motion picture that cost more than 25¢ to view.

So you figure, for this special production, they've got to get someone real special - someone altogether amazing, right? You can't just cast a good-looking dancer in that role. You need a goddess - a vision of beauty who really could stop a hetero male dead in his Nikes.

They got Julie Newmar.

No one could believe it beforehand. Her name was there in the program book but we just plain didn't believe it. It was like hearing that Ted Williams was in the starting lineup again. Then, round about Scene 5, she made her entrance, rising up on an elevator from under the stage. She was wearing a flesh-colored body stocking and the audience was - well, stupefied.

I do not know how old Ms. Newmar is, but, during intermission, every single person in that theater tried to do the mat. ("let's see - she was in Seven Brides For Seven Brothers in 1954 and she had to be at least 16 then...") And, yes, I know it's not polite to discuss a lady's age but, geez, if she was 40, she'd have cause to be proud. That she's probably more than half again as old makes you wonder if maybe Ponce DeLeon didn't find that fountain and pass out gallon containers on the set of the Batman TV show.

The audience went absolutely, full-goose-bozo crazy. I've never seen anyone get applause like that, just for standing in one place. The other leads all got huge ovations - richly deserved - but they all acted and sang and danced their heineis off. Julie Newmar just stood there. And she did it so well.

Everyone did their jobs well. A few seasons back, a concert version of Chicago at City Center was so well-received that it spun off to a regular engagement and is still selling out. The tale of the Yokum family may well follow. If it does, buy a ticket and get in line behind me - 'cause I"m going again and again. Especially if they can hire Julie Newmar to just stand there.